23 Jun The “Obedience” Attribute
TITUS 2 WIVES
The “Obedience” Attribute
Titus 2 <Verses 3-5> (3)The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things (4)That they may teach young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children (5)To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed
The last quality of the wife described in the book of Titus 2 that we will focus on is “obedience”. Obedience is defined as compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to one’s authority. So in a nutshell obedience is submission!! YES, that’s right. Let’s talk about it!…..
There are many women who do not like that ten letter word! Some even cringe at the very mentioning of submission. There is absolutely no way of getting around it regardless of what type of husband you have, you are to submit to your husband. Now before we get into this topic, let me be very clear. You are NOT to submit to a request of your husband that involves SIN!! No, that is not how God operates. For example, you would not submit to a silly request of your husband to invite someone else into your bedroom for pleasure. That is contrary to the word of God and that is SIN.
But even if you feel as if your husband is not godly enough or if you feel as if he has to treat you right first before you have to submit to him, then you are wrong and you are still to submit to your husband. Or even if you do not agree with his decisions and may not like it, you still have to submit. Let’s look at the scripture closely… Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord~ Ephesians 5:22. Welp, I can tell you right off that I seriously thought that I had submission in the bag going into my marriage but I was way off on what submission really meant. I truly did not want to submit to my husband because I did not think that he was spiritual enough yet. I thought that he had some more growing in God to do in order for me to be able to submit to him. The scripture tells us in Titus 2 that we are to obey our husbands so that the word of God is not blasphemed. The bible did not say that he had to be on a certain spiritual level. The power of submission is everything!!! Listen, when you finally make the decision in your marriage that you are going to submit to your husband, I promise you that the path of your marriage will change. Your service of submission is NOT just to your husband. For a lot of wives, the focus is on what is in front of the comma in that scripture above, instead of the clause at the end, “as unto the Lord”. The problem is that you can become so caught up in thinking that if you submit to him in everything, then he will think that he’s winning and that strokes his ego. However, this is not entirely true. First, a wife should always stroke her husband’s ego anyway. Secondly, sometimes you literally may have to sit your husband down to say to him that you are on his side and reassure him that you are both on the same team. Submission is a sign of power because you know that everything that you do is not unto your husband, but unto God. And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men ~Colossians 3:23 You were chosen as a “help meet” to your husband! Yes, you were chosen by God to HELP him MEET the vision that God has placed inside of him for the family. This is why, I always advise wives to be smart and get into their husband’s heads by asking him, “Babe, what is your vision for our family?” And if he doesn’t know then guess what, congratulations because you now have a new assignment which is to pray earnestly that God reveals His God-ordained assignment to him. Your desire should be that you both fulfill your assignment from heaven.
Early in my marriage, I had my own agenda and I would try to sway my husband’s decision in my direction MOST of the time. But that’s not the order of God! But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God~ I Corinthians 11:3. First of all, it was never intended for a husband to take directions from a wife. And that ladies, was one of my issues! Now making suggestions to your husband are perfectly okay. However, when you have a selfish or ungodly motive behind your suggestion, that is not okay. I did not have the authority to change my husband’s mind about something that he made a decision on. There cannot be two heads in one household. It’s like the older folks say, “Anything with two heads is a monster!”. Although I had good intentions behind my trying to sway his decision, my problem was that I was not allowing him to lead. The journey of marriage is for both the man and the woman. So, instead of flipping out about my husband making decisions that I don’t agree with, I should have allowed him the opportunity to grow in making that decision even if it wasn’t the best decision or if I didn’t agree with the decision that he made. Sure, you can always make a soft gesture to your husband. However, you should not allow your opinion to become overwhelming and undermine his authority. That actually emasculates him. But we are to pray that our husbands consult with God before making a decision.
Let’s talk about CONTROL…As wives, if we are not careful we can end up becoming controlling and it can be very hard to get away from because of the fall of Eve. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you~Genesis 3:16. Our job is not to try to control or change our husbands. And I was working full time trying to do both to my husband. My mission was never accomplished and we always bumped heads because I was too busy trying to be the head. I wasn’t doing it intentionally, however my ways, my actions, and my words spoke contrary to the word of God. This was blaspheme. I was not allowing the Holy Spirit to deal with his heart when it came to making decisions. My response should have been to have a gentle and quiet spirit with him about decisions that was made. I should have been praying for him to hear the voice of God. But instead I was turning our marriage into a wife vs husband ring match. But with marriage, you are a TEAM. A lot of marriages would experience God’s peace if both the husband and wife would simply realize that they are on the same team fighting the same battle.
This week, examine to see if your household have two heads or one? Are you allowing your husband to lead? Are you basing your submission on you being happy or on where he is in his spiritual walk with Christ? Remember, that your service is “as unto the Lord” and not unto men. Your obedience is better than your sacrifice~ I Samuel 15:22. So obey God and leave all of the consequences to HIM!